Reframing our Stories: The Podcast

Episode 66: Living Life with Herpes: Alexandra Harbuska

The topic of STIs is often accompanied with shame. It is also accompanied with the idea that a person was careless and promiscuous. However, that is not how STIs work. Sexual Health Education in our country is starting to change for the better, but is still very far behind in the aspect that we are not making it widely available, nor is it always accurate. This is one of the topics Kara talks about with Alexandra Harbuska, founder of Life with Herpes. Alexandra talks about the myths around STIs and herpes and sheds light on to what we can do to change the conversation and help support those who do have an STI, which affects a lot of people. We need to let go of the stigma associated with STIs and recognize they are a human experience. 

Alexandra Harbushka’s life was sent into upheaval when she received a call from her doctor diagnosing her with herpes. Shaking, feeling like her life - her goals, happiness, and desires - had all just gone up in smoke, she was left scared and with a new mission, to share her story with people just like her and to let them know that their feelings are normal, natural, and that they are not victims. 

With that mission in mind, she founded Life With Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, a website, Youtube channel, wellness products to support the skin condition and an online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living with herpes. Before founding Life With Herpes and becoming a mother to her son Clinton and a wife to her husband Bill, Alexandra worked in corporate America with roles ranging from Ralph Lauren to selling new home construction to being a mortgage loan officer. Her education includes a bachelor degree from the University of Arizona (Bear Down to my fellow Wildcats!), a postgraduate certificate in Ministry, and is currently working on a masters in Theology. She is also an ordained minister and provides ministry counseling.

Learn more about Alexandra
YouTube - Life With Herpes
www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/lifewithherpes

Episode 65: Deconstructing Church to Reclaim Sexuality: Jeremiah and Julia

Two sex therapists and a sex educator talk about their deconstruction journey with church and finding their way into being professionals helping people understand their sexuality. Purity culture had a way of convincing people to not listen to their bodies, to follow rules, and providing a limited definition of what love looks like. Jeremiah Gibson and Julia Postema talk about what it was like growing up in the Evangelical church, getting married young, divorcing, and what made them realize the story they were given was not healthy for them. In this episode, we discuss gender roles, learning how to talk about sex, needs and wants, living into authenticity, and finding a sense of peace. 

Julia and Jeremiah are AASECT certified sex therapists and a partnered couple. They co-host a podcast called Sexvangelicals: The sex education the church didn’t want you to have where they explore how people can rebuild relationships, learn about intimacy, and let go of shame while unpacking sexuality. They are exploring how many are taking the same path deconstructing sexuality and the church and are asking the questions to repair the harm that many experienced. 

Learn more about Jeremiah, Julia and Sexvangelicals: 
Website: www.sexvangelicals.com
Instagram: @sexvangelicals
Facebook: @sexvangelicals

Episode 64: It’s Not Just About Polyamory - Understanding our Wants: Dr. Joli Hamilton

More and more people are opening their relationships in one form or another. 1 in 9 people have tried a polyamorous relationship in their lifetime, according to a 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology. Kara talks with expert Joli Hamilton on how she works with couples and individuals who want to open their relationship and what that entails. Within this conversation, you’ll learn about tools that can be implemented in any partnered relationship. For instance, what are your relationship agreements? What are your boundaries? This episode explores the many ways we take on relationship models that were illustrated to us in childhood, but may not work for us now. Joli discusses helpful tips for any relationship you may be in to help you understand your authentic wants and desires, and how to communicate them.

Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Project Relationship podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli has been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, NPR, and The Atlantic. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

Learn more:
www.jolihamilton.com

Episode 63: Rewriting the Story of Domestic Violence: Pam Miles

Intimate partner violence and domestic violence often lives in the shadows of many people’s lives. It can go unaddressed and unnoticed by friends and family for a long time. Getting help to end the violence is a brave and courageous act and one that Pam Miles knows a lot about. In this episode, Kara and Pam talk about her lifetime experience of domestic and intimate partner violence and how we as a society can help stop this lived existence for many. Pam also talks about her healing journey through writing while recovering from brain surgery. With October being domestic violence awareness month, this is a must listen.

Pam Miles comes from a multi-generational lineage of Domestic Violence, but that has not stopped her from redefining her story moving forward. Author of "Mile 0", Pam continues to speak publicly about the importance of breaking harmful cycles, both in families and societal systems, and how one-person can indeed make a difference in another's life. Pam is a solo pastor of an ELCA congregation in Mukilteo, Washington. As one who cares deeply about children and family safety and their health, she is this year's Snohomish County Domestic Violence Resource Services main speaker. Pam has served on the King County Juvenile Diversion Unit and has taught Safe Haven Boundaries courses nationally. She wrote her book "Mile 0" during her rehab from brain surgery following a brain bleed in 2020, where she had to relearn to walk and once again, rewrite her story moving forward. Pam continues to be called courageous, inspiring, and persistent by all who know her story of survival and witnessing of what can be.

Learn more about Pam:
Mile 0 - Breaking the Multi-Generational Cycle of Domestice Violence
Ponte of Grace Church

Episode 62: When Pro-choice Isn’t a Choice: Simran Singh Jain

Reproductive Justice and Rights are currently a battleground in our country. As Kara studied to become a sex educator, she learned her knowledge around reproductive justice and rights was quite limited. It has been her biggest learning curve and an area where she believes many Americans need more education. Kara speaks with Simran Singh Jain, who works for SisterSong: National Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective as their Membership Coordinator, fighting for reproductive freedom in the South. Their purpose is to build an effective network of individuals and organizations to improve institutional policies and systems that impact the reproductive lives of marginalized communities. Simran gives insight into the world of reproductive justice and the ways it affects so many lives that the general public is not fully aware of. 

In this podcast, Kara and Simran talk about the many layers that are at play with reproductive justice. They unpack the systems that are impacted by racism and how they affect everyone’s well-being. They look at family values and how generational trauma continues to impact us.

Simran studied Political Science and Gender and Sexuality Studies at Tulane University. Before working for SisterSong, she was at an anti-incarceration nonprofit in Syracuse, NY. She has served as a sexual violence response team member and consent educator. Listen in as she explains the work of SisterSong and why reproductive rights are important for all of us.

www.sistersong.net
www.instagram.com/simrantoastcrunch

Episode 61: Reframing and Reclaiming our Bodies: Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant

We have been given a script on how to feel about our bodies. It limits who we are and the depth of life that we can experience. Kara talks with Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant the Co-Founders and Co-Owners of the Center for Body Trust and the authors of the book Reclaiming Body Trust. Together they remember stories they were told and how they were made to feel about their bodies and the deconstruction they are going through to change the relationship they have with their bodies. Too many fem bodies and now masculine bodies are feeling like they are never enough. It’s time to change that. 

In 2005, Hilary and Dana founded the Center for Body Trust to offer programs that encourage movement toward a compassionate, weight-inclusive model of radical care to address body oppression, heal body shame and associated patterns of chronic dieting and disordered eating. The Center for Body Trust also offers programs for helping professionals and educators interested in adopting client-centered, trauma-informed, justice-based approaches to healing—including an intensive year-long Body Trust Certification Training. Their work has been featured in The New York Times, Scientific American, Health, Self, Real Simple, Huffington Post, and the TEDx stage, and their book Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing and Liberation was released in 2023. 

Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC  (she/her) has supported people who are healing from disordered eating, body shame, and the impact of weight bias and other traumas. Hilary’s work as a therapist, educator, speaker, and writer, has been a study of what interrupts our sense of wholeness and how we can return to ourselves in a culture that profits from fragmentation. She has additional training in workshop facilitation, mind-body coaching, and radical relating. She is a sought-after speaker on topics such as weight-inclusive approaches, weight bias, and the intersections of activism and the helping professions. She offers consultation and training for organizations and professionals.

Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD (she/her), is a registered dietitian who helps people divest from diet culture and move toward more compassionate, embodied forms of radical care. Her work as a speaker, educator, and trainer focuses on humanizing health care, advancing health equity, and advocating for food and body sovereignty. As a sought-after speaker and writer, Dana is a champion for compassionate, weight-inclusive models of care and offers supervision, training, and consultation for helping professionals and health care organizations.

Learn more about Hilary and Dana and their work at:
www.centerforbodytrust.com
facebook.com/CenterForBodyTrust
instagram.com/Center for Body Trust
twitter.com/bodytrustcenter

Episode 60: Season 3 Finale - Kara & Jenny Review and Look Forward

In their Season 3 Finale, Kara and Jenny talk about what they are reframing from the last year, where they have grieved and what is bringing them joy. They talk about parenting post pandemic, the influence of our parents, reminders of expectations placed upon them and how that impacts how they parent. They look forward to next season, talk about upcoming shows and discuss a new educational series just released, REFRAMING: Youth Groups & Healthy Relationships.

Learn More and Follow:

• Email: info@reframingourstories.com
• Website: www.reframingourstories.com
• New Educational Series: REFRAMING: Youth Groups & Healthy Relationships
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/reframingourstories
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/reframingourstories
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/company/reframingourstories

Episode 59: The Stories of Justice and Inclusivity: Darren Calhoun

There are many subjects that Kara and Darren discuss in this podcast, they definitely go where the conversation wants to flow, including the bidet. Somehow, the story of the bidet leads us into the topic of lacking. What does it mean to lack in something and what do we lose when we turn away from ourselves? Darren and Kara also talk about: race, HIV, embodiment and affirming spaces in ministry, and his band - The Many.

Darren Calhoun is a justice advocate, worship leader, and photographer based out of Chicago. He works to bridge connections between people of differing perspectives through story and relationship. Intersectionality is his primary lens when facilitating dialogue and education about justice and inclusion for people marginalized based on race, gender, and/or sexuality.

Darren Calhoun is currently the Worship Leader at Urban Village Church – South Loop and previously served as a volunteer worship leader at Willow Chicago for close to a decade.  Darren is an Associate Fellow with Evangelicals for Social Action and sings with a band called The Many. He co-lead the #ImSorry and #MakeLoveLouder campaigns at Chicago’s LGBTQ Pride parades.  He’s been a speaker and performer at notable events like the Gay Christian Network conference, The Wild Goose Festival, and Sojourner’s Summit for Change. He serves on the board of directors for the Center for Inclusivity, The Reformation Project, and Q Christian Fellowship.

He brings with him an intentional focus on the church being inclusive of a diversity of people and expressions as an authentic reflection of the Love of God. Lastly, Darren is an extrovert who loves hugs.

Follow him on social media at @heyDarren or through his blog, DarrenCalhoun.com.

Episode 58: A Comprehensive Look at Orientation: Aubri Lancaster

In all her education in sexual health, Kara has never heard orientation explained or broken down the way that Aubri Lancaster did when talking about asexuality and aromanticism. Aubri challenged Kara to think more deeply about how orientation is taught and expressed to illustrate that we are leaving out important details and many layers. They look at those layers with more intention. If you like philosophy and the study of human sexuality, then this episode is for you. 

Aubri Lancaster (she/her) is an AASECT and ANTE UP! Certified Sexuality Educator. As a Greyromantic Asexual, Aubri has lived experience and a connection to the Asexual and Aromantic communities that provides a unique perspective on the issues facing the changing landscape of sexuality and orientation. When not working, Aubri spends her time with her spouse, her friends, her 6 year old, and her two adorable Chihuahuas.

Learn more about Aubri:
www.MyPassionAngel.com
IG and TikTok: @AceSexEducation

Episode 57: Enjoying my Own Company with Sobriety: Anthony Eder

Recognizing that sobriety is the step you need to take to get back to you is one that takes courage. Kara talks with her friend Anthony Eder about his journey living into sobriety. On the path to becoming sober, Anthony learned how to enjoy his own company with the connection to others who are also queer and choose sobriety. It’s in this space where Anthony learns how to love himself and find joy while also understanding boundaries and maintaining them. Kara and Anthony cover a lot of ground in this episode from topics around neurodiversity, healthy relationships, negative self talk, politics, and more. 

Anthony is someone who is not afraid to share the struggles he has gone through in hopes that it supports another. After spending several years in Southern California working at a youth camp full time, Anthony is back in the Midwest. He is living life with intention, hope, and curiosity. He is passionate about mental health care, advocating for our voice & purpose, and creating a dance party anywhere we go. He believes sobriety is a path of self love and self discovery. Anthony is a Certified Peer Support Specialist for folks in recovery and struggling with their mental health. He will also soon be certified as an Enneagram Practitioner with The Art of Growth. 

Anthony finds joy in knitting, music, laughing, road trips, and connecting with people on a deep level. He is always searching for new music, so send him ALL your suggestions!
Website: www.theluckiestclub.com
Instagram: instagram.com/mwendo.sou

Podcast Notes: The song we referred to in this podcast was Drawn to the Rhythm by Sarah McLachlan